Four ‘fer Friday

Welcome to world politics, where everything is made up and the points don’t matter.

Join me, as I take you on an international journey through the field of current events, as we explore the diverse, shitty news erupting out of every corner of the Earth.

Mankind, you make me so proud.

 

As seen in this slightly modified screen capture taken from Google Maps, illustrated is the current, complex, geo-political quagmire that is the world.

 

The Motherland of Dangerous Shit

You still have a better chance of being struck by a lightning bolt filled with AIDS than contracting Ebola, unless, of course, you live in the Sierra Leone region of Africa (then, you may get both!).  Despite the increasing death-toll overseas (currently nearing 1,000 people) and the heightened alert statuses from the CDC and WHO, the US population has been reassured that bringing two Ebola-ridden missionary doctors from Africa to Emory University Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia, will not endanger US citizens in any way.  It appears that, so far, experimental treatments are having mixed to positive effects on both patients.

And cue the Ebola conspiracy theories.

 

Zionism: I Don’t Think It Means What You Think It Means

A new old war has been raging between Israeli forces and the Hamas-led militants in the Gaza Strip via Operation Protective Edge, a military campaign formed by Israel to repel the increasing rocket fire originating from Gaza.  Different news sources will give you different perspectives on the situation, and even different “facts,” but this much is certain: Hamas is a formally declared terrorist organization.  People seem to forget that.  Palestine is not a formal country, despite the UN’s best efforts to make it so.  People seem to forget that, too.  The overwhelming anti-Semitic tone of the mainstream media’s coverage, as well as the US’s standoffish approach to the situation, certainly doesn’t leave a peaceful feeling in the pit of my stomach.  But, hey, they’re just Jews, and it’s probably their fault anyway.  And if blaming them worked for 1930’s Nazi Germany, it can certainly work now.

Thanks for showing your true colors, world.

 

I Thought We Settled That Shit, Bro

ISIS is certainly making headway in Iraq (as well as the rest of the Middle East) on their quest for Sharia-led world domination.  And I know of quite a few active and former service members who, aside from being enraged about the current crisis that our government helped make happen, wouldn’t mind going back to lend a hand in remedying the situation, if you know what I mean.  They may just get the opportunity, thanks to a flip-flop in White House administration policy regarding the use of military force in Iraq.  President Obama declared this week the authorization of targeted airstrikes in support of the defense against invading Islamic militants, but stressed that the US will not support operations with ground troops.  Laughable, as this was the same policy put into effect in Libya, with pitiful consequences.

10+ years, billions of dollars, and hundreds of dead soldiers later, we’re back to where we started.  If a full withdrawal of troops is Obama’s desired legacy, as has been stated, then just get the fuck out of there and let the place (further) go to shit.  Why not?  Putting lipstick on a pig is exactly that.  Though, I’ve previously stated enough on my views of US foreign policy that I don’t think there is anything more constructive or innovative I can add here.

Good luck with your quagmire.  Let us know how it works out for you.

 

Putin Putout

Citizens of the US can no longer purchase newly manufactured Russian made (read: Kalashnikov Concern, makers of Saiga and other Izhmash factory produced firearms) AK-pattern rifles thanks to one of the many sanctions imposed against Russia by President Barack Obama.  At this news, some were pissed, some were indifferent, some were filled with joy.  Multiple subsequent postings on firearms boards and trade sites had many users pulling their Russian-made rifles out of the woodwork and listing them for ridiculous premiums, similar to the phenomenon that struck the firearms industry immediately after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.

So what does that have to do with anything?

Aside from my utter sadness, yet understanding, of the aforementioned news, Russia has decided to retaliate against the European Union, the US, and associated opposition for the recent tightening of sanctions.  In a vibrant display of kamikaze affection, Putin announced the immediate embargo on the import of numerous foodstuffs, instigating a trade war which could possibly disrupt the world’s economies.  Because if Russia’s going down, they’re taking the rest of us with them.

Sooo… can we just let them keep Crimea now?  This shit is getting more and more pointless.

 

The Wrap Up…

The world’s plights may make for entertaining fodder, or a short discussion between friends, or a half-amusing blog post, but these are real issues affecting real people.  And we’re moving backward.

The United States faces geopolitical and economic pressures like never before seen in world history.  Despite our best efforts through the evolution of science and technology, obstacles such as disease, war, and famine still erode any progress we make as a society.  Cultural barriers block an outstretched hand.   Trade barriers block a peaceful union.  Leadership barriers block a meaningful discussion.  We yearn to fly, but face against the wind.

The time has come for our nation to turn around and spread its wings.

Free Fallin’

In what’s being heralded as a triumph in democracy, Crimea successfully parted ways with Ukraine after a peaceful referendum was held, in accordance with international law, and voted upon with an outpouring of majority support.

Wait, no?  Well, how about:

With blatant disregard for their constitution, angry mobs of Ukrainians led a violent coup against their former President, leading to his expulsion and illegal takeover by an interim government.

But isn’t that what happened?

It’s hard to tell, given the position of the White House and the European Union, and how dictated facts spread in the press like herpes on prom night.  What we have right here is grounds for a good, old-fashioned info war cold war!  Obama already forms a stiff erection every time Putin is slighted.  And right now, he’s waving his raging semi in the direction of… sanctions against Russian “cronies.”

Convincing.  So much so, that the Russians laughed it off by inviting sanctions against their entire parliament.  “Bring it on, pussies!” I believe is the quote I read, though I may be mistaken.  This, followed by initiating their own sanctions against the US.

I’ve never bared witness to such a large scale superpower pissing match.  It’s not to say I support certain actions of a politically motivated, power hungry, deceptive President (Putin or Obama, take your pick), but the Cold War is long dead.  We don’t have to hate the Russians anymore.  This isn’t Rocky IV.

Hell, nowadays, even Stallone and Lundgren are working together.

What the Obama administration is exercising is not diplomacy.  Isolation tactics are not diplomacy.  Justifying said actions with “well, they did it to themselves, so there!” is not diplomacy.  We can go right ahead and have high-level, direct talks with Iran without preconditions, but we’ll snub the President of Russia by cancelling his G8 membership and imposing sanctions because he supported his own people, ethnic Russians, in an independent, self-governed state?  Who is he, the world’s police?  Only the US can be the world’s police!

The double standard is blinding.

No one’s feathers were more ruffled than Obama’s when Russia stepped in amidst the crisis in Syria and deescalated tensions derived from supposed chemical weapons usage.  Putin prevented the war that Obama and Kerry were all horny over – the same war they decried when Bush waged it in Iraq, for the same reasons.  Flaccid jimmies betwixt thighs, they decided to follow the Russian-led appeal to dismember Syria’s chemical weapons stockpile.  Putin stopped them in their tracks, redirected, and led much in a manner as we should have.

Thanks for making us look bad, bruh.

What should be multi-lateral open dialogue has become Russia dictating the terms to the world.  But we can’t talk anymore, because we’re not friends.  And you can’t put a price on friendship.  Wait, yes you can.  It’s one billion dollars, via taxpayer funded foreign aid to Ukraine.  That’s a real rebuke to the likes of Russia.  Yeah, that’ll teach them.

In a world full of children, we’re supposed to be the adults.  We should be leading the conversation, not just being mentioned in passing.

The free world has begun to free fall.