Four ‘fer Friday

Welcome to world politics, where everything is made up and the points don’t matter.

Join me, as I take you on an international journey through the field of current events, as we explore the diverse, shitty news erupting out of every corner of the Earth.

Mankind, you make me so proud.

 

As seen in this slightly modified screen capture taken from Google Maps, illustrated is the current, complex, geo-political quagmire that is the world.

 

The Motherland of Dangerous Shit

You still have a better chance of being struck by a lightning bolt filled with AIDS than contracting Ebola, unless, of course, you live in the Sierra Leone region of Africa (then, you may get both!).  Despite the increasing death-toll overseas (currently nearing 1,000 people) and the heightened alert statuses from the CDC and WHO, the US population has been reassured that bringing two Ebola-ridden missionary doctors from Africa to Emory University Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia, will not endanger US citizens in any way.  It appears that, so far, experimental treatments are having mixed to positive effects on both patients.

And cue the Ebola conspiracy theories.

 

Zionism: I Don’t Think It Means What You Think It Means

A new old war has been raging between Israeli forces and the Hamas-led militants in the Gaza Strip via Operation Protective Edge, a military campaign formed by Israel to repel the increasing rocket fire originating from Gaza.  Different news sources will give you different perspectives on the situation, and even different “facts,” but this much is certain: Hamas is a formally declared terrorist organization.  People seem to forget that.  Palestine is not a formal country, despite the UN’s best efforts to make it so.  People seem to forget that, too.  The overwhelming anti-Semitic tone of the mainstream media’s coverage, as well as the US’s standoffish approach to the situation, certainly doesn’t leave a peaceful feeling in the pit of my stomach.  But, hey, they’re just Jews, and it’s probably their fault anyway.  And if blaming them worked for 1930’s Nazi Germany, it can certainly work now.

Thanks for showing your true colors, world.

 

I Thought We Settled That Shit, Bro

ISIS is certainly making headway in Iraq (as well as the rest of the Middle East) on their quest for Sharia-led world domination.  And I know of quite a few active and former service members who, aside from being enraged about the current crisis that our government helped make happen, wouldn’t mind going back to lend a hand in remedying the situation, if you know what I mean.  They may just get the opportunity, thanks to a flip-flop in White House administration policy regarding the use of military force in Iraq.  President Obama declared this week the authorization of targeted airstrikes in support of the defense against invading Islamic militants, but stressed that the US will not support operations with ground troops.  Laughable, as this was the same policy put into effect in Libya, with pitiful consequences.

10+ years, billions of dollars, and hundreds of dead soldiers later, we’re back to where we started.  If a full withdrawal of troops is Obama’s desired legacy, as has been stated, then just get the fuck out of there and let the place (further) go to shit.  Why not?  Putting lipstick on a pig is exactly that.  Though, I’ve previously stated enough on my views of US foreign policy that I don’t think there is anything more constructive or innovative I can add here.

Good luck with your quagmire.  Let us know how it works out for you.

 

Putin Putout

Citizens of the US can no longer purchase newly manufactured Russian made (read: Kalashnikov Concern, makers of Saiga and other Izhmash factory produced firearms) AK-pattern rifles thanks to one of the many sanctions imposed against Russia by President Barack Obama.  At this news, some were pissed, some were indifferent, some were filled with joy.  Multiple subsequent postings on firearms boards and trade sites had many users pulling their Russian-made rifles out of the woodwork and listing them for ridiculous premiums, similar to the phenomenon that struck the firearms industry immediately after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.

So what does that have to do with anything?

Aside from my utter sadness, yet understanding, of the aforementioned news, Russia has decided to retaliate against the European Union, the US, and associated opposition for the recent tightening of sanctions.  In a vibrant display of kamikaze affection, Putin announced the immediate embargo on the import of numerous foodstuffs, instigating a trade war which could possibly disrupt the world’s economies.  Because if Russia’s going down, they’re taking the rest of us with them.

Sooo… can we just let them keep Crimea now?  This shit is getting more and more pointless.

 

The Wrap Up…

The world’s plights may make for entertaining fodder, or a short discussion between friends, or a half-amusing blog post, but these are real issues affecting real people.  And we’re moving backward.

The United States faces geopolitical and economic pressures like never before seen in world history.  Despite our best efforts through the evolution of science and technology, obstacles such as disease, war, and famine still erode any progress we make as a society.  Cultural barriers block an outstretched hand.   Trade barriers block a peaceful union.  Leadership barriers block a meaningful discussion.  We yearn to fly, but face against the wind.

The time has come for our nation to turn around and spread its wings.

A Treasonous Exchange

Last week, President Barack Obama stated his desire to reshape the face of US foreign policy – a shift toward popularly quoted “might doing right.” The concept asserts that cautious, diplomatic avenues will need to be explored to strengthen our desperately lacking stance as a world power commitment to doing the right thing. So, how, exactly, do we begin our fruitful journey in seeking to exhibit our national standing? What can we give to the world that will show we mean business?

Terrorists. Thanks, Obama!

Sans sarcasm, that was the gist of the heartfelt reaction from Afghan Taliban leader Mullah Mohammad Omar when describing the exchange of five high-ranking former Taliban operatives for one US soldier, Sgt Bowe Bergdahl, as a “big victory.”

Sgt Bergdahl, left, B.O., right, B.S., everywhere.

Bergdahl was previously captured by the Taliban-aligned Haqqani network in June 2009 when he mysteriously disappeared from his base in the Paktika Province of Afghanistan. Allegations of desertion, fueled by previous conduct and statements shared with friends and family, plague the obscurities that lead to his POW status. And they look pretty convincing.

In the ensuing weeks after the allegedly traitorous fuck decided to switch teams, his base came under heavy enemy fire, resulting in the loss of many soldier’s lives. To add insult to injury, he appeared in videos (coerced, of course) denouncing the war effort and begged for the US to release fellow homies of the Taliban. But the follow-up Taliban reunion album and tour are going to have to be put on hold, at least for a little while.

Obama stated that he had received security guarantees from Qatar – the Muslim Brotherhood-loving mediators of the deal – “that it will put in place measures to protect our national security.” The almost laughable, if not hollow, measure they took? They fab-five have been banned from leaving Qatar for at least a year.

By George, that’ll stop ‘em!

In defense of the decision, Chuck Hagel said, “We didn’t negotiate with terrorists. Sergeant Bergdahl was a prisoner of war. That’s a normal process in getting your prisoners back,” he told NBC TV.

Is that the famous “doublespeak” I’ve heard so much of from that silly old book, 1984?

“No shots were fired – it went as well as it could have.”

Yeah, except we just released possibly the most dangerous men in the world, the consequences of which are tall and foreboding. Here’s a brief, yet accurate, look at their colorful past, as brought to you by the BBC:

Mohammad Fazl served as the Taliban’s deputy defence minister during America’s military campaign in 2001. Accused of possible war crimes, including the murder of thousands of Shia Muslims.

Khirullah Khairkhwa was a senior Taliban official serving as interior minister and governor of Herat, Afghanistan’s third largest city. Alleged to have had direct links to Osama Bin Laden.

Abdul Haq Wasiq was the Taliban’s deputy minister of intelligence. Said to have been central in forming alliances with other Islamist groups to fight against US and coalition forces.

Mullah Norullah Noori was a senior Taliban military commander and a governor. Also accused of being involved in the mass killings of Shia Muslims.

Mohammad Nabi Omari held multiple Taliban leadership roles, including chief of security. Alleged to have been involved in attacks against US and coalition forces.

Just the type of guys we want freely wandering around the face of the earth. Especially in exchange for such a hero as Sgt Bergdahl. Long-held mantras be damned, this was totally worth it!

“…what makes us exceptional is not flouting international norms and the rule of law; it’s our willingness to affirm them through our actions,” Obama said in his speech to West Point graduates just last week.

Yes. What makes us exceptional is negotiating with terrorists and breaking international law with Afghanistan regarding releasing their citizens to Qatar. Sounds exactly like what he just said, right there.

Also, drones. The Ukraine crisis. Syria. NSA spying. We’re totally affirming the hell out of that shit… depending on whom you ask.

“[Those] who suggest that America is in decline, or has seen its global leadership slip away, are either misreading history or engaged in partisan politics,” must be an irrefutable statement as well. When, under the current regime, have there been non-partisan politics at play? We must all be biased. Or illiterate.

Puffing up your chest in the mirror does not constitute strong leadership. It just means you’re literally full of hot air.

Can we have our terrorists back, please? We’ll trade you the most treacherous one we know.